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Hofstadter\'s Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter\'s Law.
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.
The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.
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There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
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The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they\'re going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
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Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
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The nice thing about egotists is that they don\'t talk about other people.
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don\'t work, those that break down and those that get lost.
Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.
Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, \'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don\'t believe?
The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That\'s where we come in; we\'re computer professionals. We cause accidents.
So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me
If there?s one thing I know it?s God does love a good joke.
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they\'re going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they\'re eating sandwiches.
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
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A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)
A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)
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Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
Maybe this world is another planet\'s Hell.
C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there\'s no law against whacking them around a bit.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.
The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
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The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
If it wasn\'t for muscle spasms, I wouldn\'t get any exercise at all.
If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
\'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible\', she said, \'but that alone doesn\'t make it true.\'
Never test for an error condition you don\'t know how to handle.
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
After every \'victory\' you have more enemies.
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
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God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
I\'m not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It\'s just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
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Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don\'t know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that\'s my position.
The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that\'s ok because you\'ll be a mile away from him and you\'ll have his shoes.
When you\'ve seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it\'s the exact opposite.
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
I\'m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
Emulate your heros, but don\'t carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
Copy from one, it\'s plagiarism; copy from two, it\'s research.
If all the world\'s managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.
The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
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Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
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The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment
Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?
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The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
If it wasn\'t for muscle spasms, I wouldn\'t get any exercise at all.
C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.
C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there\'s no risk of accident for someone who\'s dead.
I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.
Never test for an error condition you don\'t know how to handle.
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Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don\'t talk about other people.
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One doesn\'t have a sense of humor. It has you.
They couldn\'t hit an elephant at this dist--
Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
We don\'t like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
I have four children which is not bad considering I\'m not a Catholic.
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
If you can count your money, you don\'t have a billion dollars.
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It\'s strange, isn\'t it. You stand in the middle of a library and go \'aaaaagghhhh\' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
A physicist is an atom\'s way of knowing about atoms.
When I die I\'m going to leave my body to science fiction.
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Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn\'t.
If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
You can pretend to be serious; you can\'t pretend to be witty.
I have not failed. I\'ve just found 10,000 ways that won\'t work.
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
I have an existential map; it has \'you are here\' written all over it.
Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.
A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn\'t have an air force.
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
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The difference between \'involvement\' and \'commitment\' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was \'involved\' - the pig was \'committed\'.
Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they\'re eating sandwiches.
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
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The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.
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Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
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The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
We don\'t make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.
I\'ve never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I\'ve seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.
The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.
When I die I\'m going to leave my body to science fiction.
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How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said \'You\'ve been promoted\'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said \'You\'ve been promoted again\'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said \'You\'re managing director.\' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said \'What happened to you?\' And I Said \'I careered off the road.\'
Maybe this world is another planet\'s Hell.
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn\'t cure.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
It\'s not that I\'m afraid to die, I just don\'t want to be there when it happens.
最終更新日 : 2012/05/19/(Sat) 16:44
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